Sunday, June 20, 2010
12:08 AM The irony to situations...
It's soironic on how people react.. Be it or not that i am supposed to be rather pissed or hyped up i'm not.. Reason being, cos i know someday down the road, everyone's gonna be all smiles!
I'm not pointing out to anyone that this is to offend them.. But i'm definitely pointing it out to someone that i'm happy for that person! :)
Sunday, April 11, 2010
3:34 AM
I had always told myself that life is full of challenges that i can face and that i can go through. But never did i imagine that i could face the situation i am in now. It makes me doubt myself about my strength and what nots. whatever it is, just smile!!!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
3:01 PM
How many of us still view life as a story that would remain untold?
How would you view life as a sweet love story ?
For the people who have always anticipated in my blog, i'm sorry i haven't been updating this blog for ages, because i've been always updating my other personal blog. Sorry.
I would like to tell you people how much i love my self declared bestie. No names mentioned.
Hint: Ilyas's twin brother ? haha.
Anyway, he is someone who is rather different from the ones i've met. i agree there are pros and cons in everyone, but whats a human without both negativity and positivity right ?
Absolutely true! And so, I LOVE MY LIFE THE WAY IT IS NOW. (I guess) k bye!
Anyway, just a short post to tell you people i'm still surviving ? ;)
Spread some love.
Friday, January 22, 2010
8:19 PM
Somehow, i really hope that the best friend would change and will be there forever.. I would really hope that so... i miss you...
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
6:47 PM
After all that i've went through, all i feel right now is still to have him by my side.
The brother..
The best friend...
The sister...
The mother...
The father..
The listening ear..
The crying shoulder...
The walking partner...
The laughing partner...
What else can i list out about him.. After all these, i just wanna say, i still accept you for who you are and i will never give up..
You were there when i needed you, and even though you don't know when you were there, i know when you were there. I know when you made me smile. I know when you are just yourself to make my day.. But after all this, i still hope you'd not go far away...
Does the problem lie with me, or is it just the way it is ??
And there is nothing more painful to see your feelings to take you down... It's so hard to know what you feel inside..But you might feel better if you let me walk with you by your side...
I am dying inside and losing myself seeing you this way. Just try your best and know that i'm behind you throughout... I will be.. Have been... and still am...
Please get back to me, meet me and let everything out for me to be receptive about...
Come back will you...
6:13 PM Just for you Yasin.....
Define what is life?...
All of us have different views and perspective of what we see life and how we interpret it.
As for you, Life is to see happiness through others.
When others are happy, so are you...
When others are sad, so are you...
When others felty like they are at their lowest point in life, you will not join them by asking what is wrong... instead, you would be ignorant as an act to console that person.....
Once i thought, are u an angel send from above...?
To heal the broken hearted.... to fill the emptiness of others....
You were there for all your friends as far as i know....
Not only for me, for family... but also for each and every one of human being you regarded as friends.
Hey wait,
Look around the people that you heal?... It's a miracle that they are going through life as it is... and they are happy....
Deep down, it's you, your feelings, your inner self...
There have to be moments that you would want to go out from all these and live life for yourself.
And for that, it's for him...
I personally saw the hardship that you went through....
I personally saw those eyes which is fiiled with worriies and sorrow...
I personally saw the prayers that you recited....
I personally saw yourself, felt your feelings, understood your concern....
If no one understood, i did...
And i still am....
I truly understand what are you going through....
Life is as what it is...
I believe, with your hardwork in all that you've put in...
Things will change, so will He...
Put aside and filter fully what others have to say....
They might have understood love, but never friendship as it is a rare species to stick to friendship in life.
Whatever it is, i know that you will still pull through, even how many "I'm tired" phrase that you said out.... you will still do and give your best shot!
For that, i would tell you, Allah is fair....
HE willl make him change for the better, HE will give you happiness.
As for me,
i would pray... and it is for you... your happiness....
I LOVE YOU :)
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
9:50 AM
Hey there.
Hasn't it been sometime since this blog has been living. Lots of things have changed ever snice 2008.
People left and came back. People who left never came back as well. Left kranji sec with rather well results. Now doing nursing in kranji.
And my oh my!!!! what a stressful course nursing can get!! It has been so stressful and exams next week!!! like OH MY GOD!!
Anyhow, life still goes on. Next upcoming dance competition on the 28th of march 2009. Groove in the west. Wow! Good to hear isn't it ? It's a huge competition and i'm trembling on my knees.
I miss :
HUDA
ABG SHAM
AYIE
ADI
AARON
ZAIMY
SHARYFAH
FAIZ
KAK ANA
AMEERA
ELFA
KYMAH
ZUL
AFIQ
IRWAN
RICHIE
YONG KENG
KEGAN
IRFAN
KAK YANI
VINSON
SYED
SYAHMI
THAQIF
NAZ
SHAHRUL
LOO'LOO
RAHIMI
ETC.
I can keep going on you know. Like seriously... i miss alot of people.. i miss rainbow.
somehow, indirectly it hurts.
imy.
Thursday, November 06, 2008
4:36 PM lifes like this.
I LOVE MOHD ASY'ARI BIN SALEH!!!
I LOVE SHARILAH SIREGAR !!!
I LOVE ALL THE ONES WHO HAVE BEEN THERE FOR ME.
while all the rest have been away.
the besty hae been great!
i just love em!
take care people!
spread some loveee!!
i love me!!!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
10:54 PM thoughts...
hey there. today was the day i talked to calvin in regards of my promotion. and it sucked i tell you. i was the dumbest shit ever. whenever im talking to him i feel like the tiniest little thing. for goodness sake, the feeling sucks when you're trembling like shit!
anw, i wanna tell you guys abt a best friend who stepped into my life recently. he has been ever great calling me at night and making me feel occupied and all. he is nice and always making me happy and bubbly! he's like the coolest thing and sweetest thing lahhhh!
he works with me with smiles and msges me with so much sweetness! but just a minute ago, i got a phrase from him that hurts like hell. he said smth like, "cos i don't care"... ouch! oh gawwdd! it sucks man!
anw, i don't wanna lose anyone and don't wanna change anything.. because i've lost people enough! I just lost my abg sham........ you guys won't know how much it hurts! ouch! ouch! ouch! urghhh! life... what can we say ? hmmm.
tc people. spread some lovee!
Friday, September 12, 2008
11:51 PM Lifes a hurdle you must oppose...
How long has it been since my last update ? Well who cares. Considering my everlasting school journey, and on going career path as well as a huge circle of friends; its good enough that im updating as often as this. If you're interested to read this post, let me warn you first. It's gonna be a long update about my recent happenings.
Here it goes.
Starting of with N levels. Two papers are solely over and thank god i could do it well enough. It was really the outrageous nervous feeling when you standing outside the examination hall waiting for the chief examiner to call the candidates in. Besides the fast pumping of my heart and furious perspiration oozing out moisturizing every single inch of my body. However, once i got seated and started doing the paper, i was treating it like a normal examination. On a heavier note, it has been very challenging in school to keep up the pace teachers are setting. Goodness!
Next up comes a situation...
" Drop fries! Service in! "
"Bump order!"
"Follow ultra high!"
"Run counter"
"Thank you see you again!"
"Counter crew, peak service, HUSTLE!"
All this phrase has been in be for rather about 2 years. I have been thinking about it and it has somehow made a impact in my life. Leaving the store sooner or later would be rather a challenge for me. Though i find it really irritating that the crew here are always giving me a headache and all, they're somehow still in me. I keep thinking on how to improve the store, train crew to crew leader and so on.
Frankly, i still prefer to train my dear irwan and wilson compared to you know who. I just find both of them more capable of holding that designation. I don't know how they're gonna do in CKN5 when im away. Im gonna miss the times where i get to smile and laugh together as store putting all the political issues aside. But, i i say i have no problem in the store then id be lying. I definitely face a lot of difficulties and problems in the store. However, i still enjoy the atmosphere and all my regular customers. It is true that i am suppose to be happy to be facing a whole lot of exposure and a new designation at another store, but now it makes me think twice. I contradict my own feelings and i don't know how it works. I really hope i get a chance to work with everyone and feel good before my confirmation of leaving. I'd break into tears, i know.
Besides....
After a really long time i got to talk to my bestie a few days back. I got to tell him what i feel and whatever that's inside me. I was sad its true. However, he gave me hope that we'd sit down to settle things. I am really happy to be talking to him after a long time.... RICHIE KOH ZHONG YONG. I MISS YOU!!!!
Next up is about the step of new people in my life. I wanna thank my ADIK IRWAN & ADIK AFIQ for being great people around me and cheering up whenever i needed them. They keep me driving and also smiling whenever im down. However, no special treatment at work or whatsoever. Irwan have been cheering me up and god knows how i got close to him. I do worry about him every now and then. Who knows, a always smiling person has his own set of problems too. Afiq has been real nice too. He's like always there and i find it a routine to talk to him. God knows how i got close to him also though. His smiles and cries are always beneath me which id always remember.
Next is WILSON! He is a great friend, colleague and motivation for me to keep pushing my training of Crew leader. He is very eager to learn and is always around me with his bubbly attitude. PS: Thanks for featuring me in your blog.
Lastly, i miss my best friend. Shes been gone lately. She's abandon me and gone over to her comfort zone. AGAIN. idk if whats in her blog is going out to me, but i sill do care and love her.
Quote for today: i may look strong and bold whenever all of you see me but trust me, i have my own weakness and tears you know.
Bye peeps!!! Take good care of yourself and spread some love!!! Thanks for anticipating your time at my blog!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
9:27 PM after some time...
What can i say? The stressing feeling of preliminary examinations are haunting me like a journey that would never end. I feel so helpless but to suffer before i bear the sweet fruit which is worthwile.
After so long, i met my bestie! Adi Sufian!
We shared alot and talked about alot of things in general which i guessed we barely saw the time flying. I wanted to have practice today but it turned out that i had to cancel it. I think i shall confirm my dance crew involved for this competition.
Ilyas
Bow
Yasmin
Afiq
Yasin
for now we'd make do with it. the rest we'd think about it later on. anyhow, i don't have the right moodto blog right now. so c ya!
Friday, August 01, 2008
11:11 PM Sense of insecure.
I am very sure everyone has felt the feeling of insecure. I just i've lost the ones i love. I just feel that i've lost them. First i lost ___________ now i'm in the process of losing ________. Is it that i'm expecting too much of you. Perhaps its maybe is that i'm not receptive of your actions and thoughts. Maybe the problem lies with me because i just have too many friends around me that got myself into a confused consequence and in a situation where my table is messy to an extend where i feel like triggering off whatever angst i've got in mind to brush of all the dust that i visualise in my daily life.
To whom it may concern:
I thought you wouldn't leave. Time and again you keep breaking my promises. Why did you have to keep so much of emotions within yourself and blame me for not understanding you ? Why did you have to keep in mind that i'm not what you'e been expecting of me. Why are you someone who always expect me to give in. Yes, i always want to be right and plae my ego before you, but have you ever realised how much i've been trying to sacrifise for you? Have you ever seen the side of me who tries so hard to make you feel that you're great ? Have you ever thought about the times when no one's there and i was ? Have you ever thought whether you've hurt me ? Why are you so different from before?
Am i expecting and visualising the things that are vague or things that is extra prominent into my eyes. Or maybe intepreting things which you will never understand ? If i am that bad, i rather you tell me off and ask me to leave and we can be normal friends and i can just leave your life and step out of every single thing i am in right now. Can you please let me know just what is your thoughts of me ?? This is going on for too long. I have no more listening ears which i can depend on. I am afraid that what i'm thinking of doing right now might hurt you. I don't even now whether it's the right thing to do. I am in a confused state more than you think i am. We both know in silence that things are left undone at the end of everyday's repetition of routine, but you still are not willing to settle things because you have someone in repacement of me is it ?
I am really unsure of my mood and feeling that internally harping on each and every thought that builds me up emotionally yet breaks me down at the end of it. Brilliant. Brilliant things they say to me. Act out to me. Yet again, i am trying to understand what all of them are upbringing to me. All my laughters, it makes everyone happy and hyperactive. It's great to see someone smile and looking into your eyes to thank you in great appreaciation. I just feel that i'm doing so much good to people that they advantage of me. I feel so unappreaciated. I just feel alone and empty with no one around me. I feel like everyone's just putting up an act. I really shape up their heart, their pillar of strength and emotions but they never fail to tear down mine. Sometimes, in life you should learn to be smug too. It helps you fight for your own rights.
To whom it may concern:
After talking to you, i feel like ouring every single thing out to you and let you know how i feel since you resemble _________ so much. I feel like letting you know how much inside of me is tearing apart. Thanks for your voice and honesty.
Right now, all i feel like doing is to talk to someone i trust, who can lend his/her listening ears. I feel like shit.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
9:04 PM loveeeeeeeee!
(Irfan's the one who is sitting staring blankly. with purple border) That is the awesomest thing on earth! The cutest drug i got in mind. The one who makes me go like " awwww. he's so cutee."
OMG! Doesn't it looks like i am craaaazyyy about him! Heh.
I am like so crazy and dumb and out of mind. I am no mood to study at all but i gotta study. I really have to. I am studying. But i just am not studying enough. I need so much more time and so much more effort to study my lungs and slog out the fuck in me. I dont know what i'm thinking and i also don't know what i think i'm gonna do if i flop. Oh god, N levels. I am sscareeeeed! It breaks me into tears at times when i think about it. Oh crap!
Okay! School has been rather harsh on students of this era. Being in this era is total hard shit crap and definitely alot more stressing than i thout it could get. Revising for maths has been in me for months but i don't see it improving at all! Urgh! Biology and Social Studies has been interests but recognising every single term that comes into the subject factor makes me lost in confusion which is sooo unacceptable for a person like me who is about to take N levels in less than a month.
Mr foo is somehow trying to motivate us indirectly i guess. Though i don't really favour him in my list, i somehow listen to what he has to say at times. It sometimes is making sense and it rings a bell after sometime. Think about it. I suppose it's just the right time i need to wake up to reality and face it has got in line for me. All the activities that's been happening is questionning my moral courage of facing my books and all that notes that i scribble. My nerves are about to burst in tears not knowing what to do and where to head.
Have you ever wondered why are we in this position? Is it because we can't cope up or we just don't want to cope. Maybe because the standard of all those books and syllabus is just wayyy of our head to combine it into our brain juices and getting it nailed inside of us will a millionaire's question to answer. My surrounding, all my other challenges are inside of me that i'm trying to face and cope with and make sure i sprint ahead all the way till i tap the finishing line and shout to whole world" i'm done with one. What now? and what's next ?"
However hard it was for me to tell someone that life was full off challenges, it really is hard to face reality because we will be in denial of whatever angst it throws against us. I always hoped that i had a heart of stone or maybe a heart that is as hard as the bark of the tree. Because anything can get carved but will never reach to the bottom of everythink. Don't you think so ?
All this typing is motivating me to study all i wan and give it all i have got. I really hope that i am strong enough to face everything that is going to be throwned at me. I will face it with whatever i got and give back any revenge which i think i can. In this case, i will give studies back a smile and say that i can't take any revenge as it has done me good. Cool aye ?
Alright. For now that'd be it. See ya soon and take care! Looooved!
Sunday, July 20, 2008
8:42 PM my secreats beneath...
Why is everything in contradiction of me ?
Why do i miss you so much and i can't have you in my arms.
I feel you so far away from me.
What did i do to deserve this. ?
It's so hard for me to let you know that you're someone so close to my heart.
You just won't understand what i have always been feeling.
There was nothing i could say to you or do to you to make you see what you mean to me..
I wanna let you know that you've always been running my thick blood and you've never left my mind in terms of happiness, tears, joy and all the laughters i share with the world. All i know is that, i miss adoring your eyes, your smile, your laughter, your voice, yourself from afar and how much you used to tell me that you won't leave me.
You leave me speechless ever since you left me alone in the dark. I've always been searching for the right to meet you. Wherever you go, whatever you do, i'll be always right here waiting for you.
Abg sham, i've been always wanting to meet you. It's been so long... If only you knew... :(
i miss moh asy'ari bin mohd saleh! It's been so long since i ever got to hang out with him.... Haiz... I feel so helpless...
"Admist all the moments of ups and downs where the sky and clouds will puff up the night sky which brightens the light of the moon and makes all the stars sprinkle over the night sky.. I miss all my loved ones... "
Sunday, June 29, 2008
7:15 PM after so long!
Its been like forever since i've updated right? Ok whatever. Today had a dance audition. And guess what? We were like fucking blur la! Anyway, there after we headed to the place LIMBANG! OK PAUSE, "EVERYONES FUCKING LOOKING AT ME !" BTW, im at limbang now using naddy's lappy!
Anw, after heading to like limbang, i was sweating like pig! Oh PIGHEAD! So irfan had to raise up that i stink for me to change ! THAT PIG HEAD!! haha!
And ilyas don't believe that i will update my blog! Here it is ! Anyhow, it's been like so fun these days outside compared to a school life. It sucks ya knowww!
To whom it may concern:
Like how we need oxygen to breathe,
and how we need the three elements to survive
it contradicts the purpose of how all of u depend on people after sometime getting close to them.
A bonding after another, gets stronger day after day.
It is how we stop tears from blurring our vision.
Who knows in time to come, you might need the same person to depend on to get life going.
Everyone has felt it before.
The feeling of pacing up and down outside the A&E ward praying and hoping in no occasion
the person inside will be thrown in the caves of hell!
It is how much i feel of waiting for you to confess to me how much inside of you to let the world know and not be afraid of it.
Anyhow, see ya around! I LY PEOPLE!